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Since this was a reading of the America book; here are some ad libbed highlights: "If you can't do a Jew joke in a library in New York, where else is it going to fly?" - Jon Stewart "I assume you need the money for marble cleaner." - Jon "Nobody ever laughs at the Plato shit"-Jon "This is actually where Dewy Decimal is buried. This is his tomb! His whole family is buried here!" - Jon Jon: Where is the line [that gets crossed]? Ben Karlin: It's a dotted line, actually. "I think he is one of the top green screen correspondents in the country." - Jon on Rob Corddry Jon: I just did a dick joke in the library! Ed Helms: And it gets the biggest laugh of the night! Jon: I think one of the lions outside just said, 'did he just make a dick joke?'" "Ed as you know is a licensed imaginener." - Jon on Ed Helms "It's a court heckler!" - Ed Helms on a heckler in the audience who screamed "Roe vs. Wade!" when Jon brought up the chapter on the Supreme Court. "I'm allowed to say that in a library right? Clusterfuck?" - Jon "Ed Helms is a black maid!" - Jon on an audience question on whether Ed Helms is related to Jessie Helms.  "Ed Helms, ladies and gentlemen! He'll fuck anybody in the room!" - Jon on when an audience member asked who was single on The Daily Show crew. "I'm not gay enough to be the Governor of New Jersey!" - Jon "Your accent makes you sound so smart!" - David Javerbaum "I really got to get the fuck outta here!" - Rob Corddry on the last question of the night--nay a statement that the Red Sox made it into the World Series.