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(May, 2000) 
With Vance DeGeneres and Jon Stewart.

(Vance and Jon are at the TDS desk, and Vance has a computer keyboard in front of him)

Vance:
Protecting your computer against attack is very difficult, and computer hackers can now camouflage devastating infections in the most ordinary looking e-mails. I mean when I get an e-mail from Jon Stewart headed 'I Love You', I'm not thinking 'uh-oh, has my firewall been violated?', I'm thinking, 'talk to the hand, bitch'. 
Jon:
Fair enough (looks hurt) ... I don't care. So, are you saying that there is absolutely nothing we can do about this new problem of cyber crime?
Vance:
No, not at all, Jon. There remains one sure-fire way to prevent internet-related computer problems. It's subtle and little known, but I've found it one-hundred-percent effective. (quietly takes a hammer out from under desk):

GO OUTSIDE!!!
(smashes up keyboard)
Outside, that's it!

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