October, 2002 (real player)

With Ed Helms, Mo Rocca, Stephen Colbert, Rachel Harris, and Rob Corddry

Ed Helms:
To be a hard-hitting news correspondent, you need the hair.

Mo Rocca:
A correspondent requires a lot of skills. Interviewing technique, there's a certain intellectual accruement, and a great disrespect for journalism.

Ed Helms:

I don't know if I would be where I am today if it wasn't for my hair, and you might be saying, 'Ed, that sounds like a personal shot at Rob Corddry', and I would have to say yeah, that's part of it.

Stephen Colbert:
To be a hard-hitting news correspondent, you need tenacity, veracity and elasticity, and by the last one I mean you gotta be flexible enough to know that when you go into a field, you're not always going to get the story you had hoped for. It may not be a drama it may not have anyting compelling about it, the truth may not serve you, so you need to be able to stretch the truth until it fits your mold because like a lawyer never ask a question that you don't already have an answer to. Never go and cover a story that you haven't already edited in your mind.

Rachel Harris:
A hard-hitting correspondent doesn't have to lie to get to the truth. I mean like sure, what I said before, you stretch it a little. You can be-dazzle it a little bit, give it a little spin, a little pow, little pop, you know, so it really shows up on camera, and make it look a little bit more interesting, because life isn't really that interesting.

Rob Corddry:
You gotta look good. You have to look good in many different
combinations of shirt and tie. Now, I don't know if you know, but a lot of people are wearing stripes and stripes now, did you know that?

Ed Helms:
Koppel has done things to his hair that I can only dream of, and I hope by the time I get to his age I'll have that much body in my hair, you know?

Rob Corddry:
I'm not afraid to wear a fatter tie than some people, you know? I'm not afraid to wear a European collar. Not up. I am afraid to wear my collar up, because a good correspondent does not wear his collar up.

 

Previous Transcript - List of Transcripts - Next Transcript