Daily Show stuff April, 2002-August 2002

"Thanks guys! Aw, heck, the stock market is as simple as an Alabama weather man! Let's say you're a bean farmer, you farm beans, now if you're farming beans you don't do it by yourself, you use hired hands, pay them twenty to thirty dollars for an honest days labor, and to keep them working hard, you promise them a little extra if the price of beans go up, 'corse its going to cost your out of pocket to pay that extra. But maybe your wife already spent that money on a new hat, even if she already has about ten hats just like it that she never wears, and you can't return it 'cause it gots stains on it on account of all those fancy creams she's always putting up there. Now, you got no money and your migrants are down working for Steven's who is paying pennies on the bushel over and above."