86.
" Last Call " 
Airdate : November 3, 2003
People may think that Nebraska is known for its corn, but that was in the past. Now instead of cornfields popping up, there are telemarketing establishments popping up where K-Marts and grocery stores used to be. Ed speaks to one of the up starters of the telemarketing boom in Nebraska ("are you the head of this companyhold?") He says that the reason why Nebraska is a telemarketing capital is because Nebraskans are "nice people", and the strangers on the other end respond to this:
"they call us lazy, and to get off our buts and get a real job" says a "hot" telemarketer by the name of Marisa. Ed cheers her up by doing a little bit of role playing:
Marisa : Ring Ring, Ring Ring, Ring Ring?
But this airless, small cubicle existence could all change because of the Do Not Call List supporter Bob Bullmash gets his way. He uses the well-worn joke of "they should be called tele-nnoyers. Ed has a rebuttal to Bullmash's lame joke:

What exit do you take on your way home? Because I wonder where you GET OFF!

Ed's just trying to protect the hot telemarketer girl so she won't lose her job, and it looks like she's going to be safe because Bullmash uses unsolicited phone calls to recruit members. Ed tells him off:

You're telemarketing, buddy! You know what? I'd like a large order of bull mash with a side of hypocrisy fries!

Jon, there are only two key details in that sign, name and the year. They got them both wrong. Now things didn't get better. Once Howard Dean emerged as the man to beat, Kerry's people wanted to sh ow that their man had attitude too, but this was not the right move:

Punching a baby? I mean, punching a baby?! I can't speak for the rest of America, but I think that's wrong!
Jon:
So in your opinion, candidates shouldn't  punch babies?
Ed:
No, Jon. Punching a baby has never gotten anybody elected. Except for Taft, but those were different times. People thought babies were evil. That they were always staring at them, looking for weaknesses.
Jon:
Ed, people never thought that. Your examples are damning, and I commend you on your imagination, and your photoshop, but clearly those things never happened, in fact his campaign hasn't been that mismanaged. 
Ed:
Ok, what do you want me to say? That the firing of his staffers was purely cosmetical? That Kerry himself has ran a poor campaign, that he inspires no passion, that he looks like he's decomposing before your very eyes! That every time he opens his mouth you expect him to say 'brains! must eat brains!' Is that what you want, Jon? Because I won't do it.

89.
" Make Sure You Don't Pinch Your Nipples " 
Airdate : November 13, 2003
Jon:
Ed, thanks for joining us. Talk to me baby*! What's the latest at the filibuster?
Ed:
Well, Jon, its now hour twel-twenty five of the filibuster, and I would like to introduce a motion to crack open a window. Good God! What died in this senate?! What's worse is the partisan rancor is ramping up, and its getting ugly. I just saw Barbara Boxer (D. California) napping under some newspapers, and Senator Mitch McConnel (R. Kentucky) dipped her hand in warm water. You expect that kind of thing in the House, but come on!
Jon:
What about the particulars of this filibuster? Is there anything notable being said?
Ed:
Not really. Each Senator is only talking for an half hour each, and that's nothing. Back in 1957, Strom Thurmond filibustered for 24 hours over the Civil Rights Act. People who were there said that by hour 21, they almost denied black's civil rights just to make him shut the hell up! Now that's a filibuster! 
Jon:
Now, Ed, what are the ideological underpinnings of this filibuster?
Ed:
None. This is nothing but an exercise in tit for tat, showing that each side can be just as big of a dick as the other: 
(in falsetto, old timey voice)

Jon:
Ed...
Ed:
I'm sorry, Jon. I'm so tired.
Jon:
I know you're 25 hours into this, Ed, but try to stay strong.
Ed:
Yeah, not much to look forward to. In a few hours, Kay Bailey Hutchinson (R. Texas) is going to read from Good Night Moon. I look forward to hearing her partisan spin on that timeless classic.
*there's something very disconcerting when Jon refers to Ed as "baby"

90.
" Who Are The Daily Show? (22 minute correspondent special)" 
Airdate : November 24, 2003

In this special, the correspondents reveal their backgrounds (but don't say the word "background" around Stephen Colbert)

Ed On Rob Corddry:

Rob brings … awkward energy into any situation. You can’t ignore him when he’s in a room with you. If you’re watching something funny on TV for example, he laughs, but then he’ll look back at you to see if you’re laughing at it. And um … its very creepy.  

Ed On Ed:

Ed:
When I do something, I give it at least 90 over 110%. Mostly more. I would say that I give 110% over 90%.

Stephen Colbert:
Ed’s a hard worker. And that means something around here. Sometimes we reward him with a ribbon just for participating. Or a hug.

Ed:
My interest in the news started when I was just a little boy. I had fallen down a well, ‘yall might remember the story of Baby Ed. As soon as that ex-jockey got me out of there, I became a news junkie. (pretends to be shooting up) NEWS! Couldn’t get enough! Which is why I began to fall down a series of larger wells with better coverage. Eventually I had an epiphany: since there was a way for me to be around the lights, cameras and microphones, without me having to fall down any wells by being a newsman…an above ground newsman.

I am Ed Helms. I got stuck in a well. I am the daily show.  

Ed On Samantha Bee:

There are some reporters who believe that they should keep their distance, but Samantha takes that to the next level.  

December